I have been musing on my amputee comedy and wondering, if I were to finish it, whether it would stand any chance of being commissioned or whether it would be considered too tasteless by far:  On a desert island, Long John Silver is the self-appointed king of amputees. He, Silas Wegg (from Our Mutual Friend) and Captain Ahab (from Moby Dick) cohabit uneasily with Sarah Berhardt, Douglas Bader and Major General Daniel Sickles (who lost his leg during the Battle of Gettysburg and later donated it to the National Museum of Health and Medicine in Washington DC.)

They spend their days trading ever more outrageous and competitive tales of leglessness.  Tension increases as Silver, Wegg and Ahab, unfettered by their fictitiousness, threaten to outperform the historically constrained Bernhardt, Bader and Sickles. They are united by their irritation at the voices that appear to be coming from the shells that litter the beach. It appears that in another time and very different place, someone else is losing their leg…